Yes, I’m Married. No, I’m Not Pregnant.

Back in the days when I was single (last year), I used to frequently and fearlessly ask any woman I knew if she was pregnant or planning on getting pregnant.

kate preggers

Kate knows what it’s like

I was told this was rude. I didn’t care. I had a superstitious Catholic friend tell me it was terrible because you could be forcing a woman to choose between announcing a pregnancy in the first 3 months (bad luck) or denying the existence of her unborn child (even worse luck). I thought that was just silly.

Since I got married (and a little before), people have been asking about our plans or, even worse, joke-asking me “Uh oh! You feel sick? You’re not pregnant, are you?!” and I have to admit, it’s really fucking annoying. (Can I curse here? Sure, my blog, my rules.)

The reason(s) I used to ask my friends if they were getting pregnant was because I was (a) nosy, (b) hoping that they weren’t having kids because I want them to still be fun, and/or (c) mentally preparing myself so I wouldn’t be blind-sided when I found out in 6-9 months that my friends were no longer fun. I don’t know the intentions of everyone that asks me these questions so I just assume nosy, which translates to annoying.

That said, here’s a list of rules for asking me if I’m pregnant or working on it:

1) Ask yourself if you know me well enough. The answer might be yes. I’m pretty open with a lot of people and, you know, all of the internet. But if you have to think about it for more than a second, the answer is probably no.

2) Just come out and ask it. Don’t joke-ask or hint at it, for God’s sake.

3) Don’t give me your opinion afterwards.

4) If we’re real life close friends, you can pretty much disregard all of these and the worst I can do is to tell you to shut up.

5) If you’re a nail salon technician, you can get away with anything.

nail scene

Or, I could just answer the question for the world:

No. Check back in 3-5 years.


  1. Well I’m just gonna assume that you’re not silly enough to PLAN on having a baby while 1) you’re still living at daddy’s and 2) Tom’s still in school. Opps happens though. ;D and that would be fun and hilarious…. for me.

    Chloe needs a playmate in NY… just saying. :D

  2. I used to get the mirror image of that question; people seeing me pregnant and asking ‘But you’re not married?’ Like I did some pregnancy-induced time traveling and ended up in the ’50′s… seriously annoying. But you’re right, Asian nail ladies can get away with everything :P

    • That’s too funny! People are so freaking nosy.

      Thanks for stopping by :)

    • Asian nail ladies even get away with hurting, but you just smile back ’cause – and I am not being racist here – usually whatever you say to them, they just nod. It is not that I think they don’t understand, I think they don’t even try.

      This nail girl told asked me 3 times if I wanted my eye brows done. I thought that saying “no thank you” once would be enough, but she kept asking. Needless to say I was a bit insulted, and her tip decreased ever time she asked about my eye brows!

      • Lol. I once had a lady ask me if I wanted my eyebrows done. I thought about it and said “Hmm, yeah I think so…” And she smiled in relief and said “Yeah, I think so.” My sister loved it because she’s always making fun of my out of control eyebrows.

  3. I think you are me 10 years ago. This makes me smile, yet feel so old.

    I have two little ones, I’m considering a third, and I totally accept the fact that I am ZERO fun right now. I’m hoping to bounce back after the kids are in college. So maybe we can hang in, like, 18 years? ;)

    • Lol looking forward to it! I have to admit, I’m not that much fun right now either, with being married in the suburbs and all. But I just don’t want my friends to have kids until I’m ready to have kids. Ok, everyone?


  5. Your baby would be adorable, but I am satisfy with your and Tom’s decision to wait. I STILL need a playmate so I don’t want you to stop being fun just yet.

  6. Glenda Vargas says:

    I go through this every time I am at social gatherings. It’s not even my friends asking such personal questions–it’s their relatives or older individuals. I like your “ask in 3-5 years” response. Ignore everyone and do your own thing.

    • I hate to say this, but Tom’s grandma is the worst, and I love her to death. He’s the oldest grandchild and she keeps saying “I want great grandchildren before I…” (closes eyes and crosses arms over chest). It’s really cute actually. Luckily, she’s pretty spry. Pretty sure she has 5-10 years left in her.

  7. I learned long ago not to ask women about marriage or pregnancy plans, mostly because it’s none of my business, but also because questions like that can come back and bite you on the nose. ;)

    Thanks for visiting my site. I appreciate it. :)

  8. My advice coming from a guy. Hold out as long as you can. Enjoy married life and cram as much fun in as you can. Once those kids come by kiss it all goodbye as you know it because then your life revolves around the kids. Nothing wrong with having kids when you are a bit older. Also, abandon the burbs and come live in the city. The burbs are where fun goes to die.

    So, are you pregnant? When you you due? Twins? ;-)


  1. Baby Fever says:

    [...] of whatever my hormones or biological clock are doing, I’m as confident as ever in my “check back in 3-5 years” [...]

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