Out of Office Message

Lovers and friends, (readers, as some people might call you), thank you for following me through February, a month of blogging 5 (or more) days a week. I have loved it and it’s actually becoming second nature to be constantly writing blog posts in my head, so thank you for that.

Coincidentally, it is the last day of the month, and I do not have a post. I’m having a busy week and busy day, especially, and don’t have time or the willingness to be creative. I have a couple posts pre-written but they need some formatting work and I can’t even handle that right now.

I am feeling very stressed, but I am remembering Ben Affleck’s words, and trying to keep my nose to the grindstone, which is a stupid expression that I don’t understand but can’t be bothered to look up.

In conclusion, thanks for reading along and encouraging me through another month. I could especially use some words of encouragement right now, so be a doll, wouldja?

guess I'm cashing this in now credit

guess I’m cashing this in now
credit

Back Home Sitcom: The Lady Spits

INT. MANHATTAN CAFE – LATE MORNING (SUNDAY)

Jill and Tom laugh as the bill arrives. Jill takes a sip of water.

TOM
Oh, I guess I’ve
got this one?

Jill laughs, coughs, then closes her mouth tight.

TOM
Should I put it on
the Mastercard or…

Tom stops as he looks at Jill. Her mouth is closed and she is holding up one finger as if to say “hold on”.

[Read more...]

More Signs from the Universe: Rachel Dratch and My Road to Fame

Yesterday morning I tweeted “I sent a message to the universe for my boss to postpone our weekly meeting, and then, she did. Universe! (I’m channeling @TheRealDratch)”

The Rachel Dratch shout out references her book, Girl Walks Into A Bar, which is so awesome it made me cry and if you haven’t read it, I recommend the audiobook version because I like to hear “Universe!” in Rachel’s voice in my head.

rachel dratch girl walks into a bar book

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Project Optimism: Ben Affleck Speaks to Me

Sunday, 7:30 PM
Me: I’m getting tired of Project Optimism. I have nothing. I’m not an optimist.
Tom: Maybe something tonight will inspire you.
Me: Doubt it.

Enter: Ben Affleck.

[Read more...]

Moves Like Phoebe

Sunday bonus post!

The other day, I was walking to the train at Hunterspoint Ave and I saw this guy running ahead to catch the train.

He was running like Phoebe from Friends, only with a messenger bag.

“That’s not running! This is running! Let’s gooo!”

It made me really happy.

Also, I caught the same train as him, so I don’t know why he was running. Maybe he wanted to make sure he had time for a trank.

Happy Sunday! :)

Living Is Dying

Bonus Saturday Post!

As you may recall, Tom sent me some beautiful roses for Valentine’s Day last week. Sadly, despite their 7-Day Guarantee, these flowers did not stand a chance with the dry heat in my office.

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My Husband, The Broken Saint

Remember when Saint Tom made me all optimistic about getting our new den/office cleaned up?

And we all loved him and called him Saint Tom and stuff? Well, last night, he hit his breaking point.

legend has it that the real St. Thomas could levitate... but they said the same thing about David Blaine.

legend has it that the real St. Thomas could levitate…
but they said the same thing about David Blaine.

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Why Don’t We Just Live With My Mom?

photo
<—– “Y don’t u guys live in the apt in her house ?” The text from my sister in law makes me think. I pause before typing, “It’s complicated but…”

 
As I mentioned back when I introduced you to the cast of characters, when we moved to Long Island, it was no secret to Daddy or anyone that Tom and I would have preferred to stay with my mom.

In fact, last summer, when Daddy first offered to let us move in with him, I believe my immediate reaction was panic, followed by fear, dread, sadness brought on by divorced-kid baggage, initial acceptance, then denial and bargaining, and finally reluctant submission to my inevitable doom. Those are the usual steps, right?
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#LiberalTips2AvoidRape

#LiberalTips2AvoidRape is trending on Twitter right now.

Now, this is not a political blog. I usually try to avoid controversial subjects and have even referred to myself as “Ms. PC”, although that’s really because those are my initials.

But this hashtag just makes me sad. :(

The basic premises to be accepted if we are to understand this hashtag are…

-Liberals want to take away your guns.
-You can’t stop rape without a gun.
-You can certainly stop rape with a gun.
-Also, the University of Colorado released some seemingly stupid guidelines on preventing rape.

Initial evaluation of these givens: They’re completely irrelevant to the issue.
[Read more...]

Project Optimism: Love Is In The Air

It’s Valentine’s Day and I leave work, where my husband has sent me some cheerful pink roses.

V-day roses

I walk through the streets of New York, pausing to look up at the Empire State Building, lit up in a pinkish purple.

I look around and see women carrying flowers, couples holding hands.

I think about how I saw more happy V-Day statuses this year than hateful. Have my bitter friends lost their energy or are people just a little happier this year?

I make my way to Argo Tea, where I order an iced blueberry white tea and sit down to write. I hopefully ponder my future writing prospects.

Is it so much to ask to be Tina Fey when I grow up?

Is it so much to ask to be Tina Fey when I grow up?

I think about my weekend plans: improv, a wedding, and a bonus day off on Monday.

Suddenly it hits me: Oh yeah, this is what optimism feels like. I have to admit it’s been eluding me lately. But in this moment, I finally feel hopeful, positive, optimistic. Let’s try to keep that going.

Give me some good news, lovers and friends.

 
Check out more Project Optimism posts by me or by other bloggers.