The real title should be:
What Women Don’t Want For Valentine’s Day, or, Nice Try Vermont Teddy Bear
Have you seen this commercial?
(email readers click to the blog to view)
Without getting into how stupid the commercial itself is, I must say this is the worst gift idea I’ve seen in a while. Guys, here are a few reasons to cancel your Big Hunka Love Bear orders real quick…
1. A 4.5 foot teddy bear takes up a lot of room. Like, a lot. Like, if it’s in the bed, you’re not. That sort of contradicts Vermont Teddy Bear’s implied promise to get you laid.
2. I have to assume that any woman who receives this bear thinks it’s cute for a second (if you’re lucky) and then starts thinking about how long she has to hold on to it before she can get rid of this dust collector. I can’t help but think that it adds a point to the “pro break up” column when she gets out her legal pad to debate dumping you.
3. If a commercial is the source that tells you “It’s thoughtful. It’s romantic. It shows that you were thinking only of her.”, it is, by definition, not thoughtful, probably more childish than romantic, and shows that you couldn’t think for yourself so let some advertisers do it for you.
Now, I shouldn’t generalize. I’m sure there are some women that might like this bear. Such as:
- Girls under the age of 9;
- That English heiress that bought Spelling Manor (I’m assuming she has some extra space);
- Cat ladies that have emotionally outgrown their body pillows; and
- Female prisoners, assuming the bear can be outfitted to smuggle in a cell phone.
As for what women do want? I can’t say for certain. Women are all different. The only characteristic that unites nearly all of us is not wanting this bear.