I Imagineered a Disney Ride but Forgot to Tell Them About It

For a while in college, my roommates and I were kind of obsessed with the Disney princesses.

If I had gotten married when I was 19, my wedding might have looked like this…

My favorite Disney movie was and still is The Little Mermaid, the ill-executed Broadway musical version notwithstanding.

Eric, the hottest Disney prince

Eric, the hottest Disney prince

they gave him a PONYTAIL! why????

they gave him a PONYTAIL! why????

Also in college, I came up with an idea for a “Kiss The Girl” tunnel-of-love type ride for the Disney parks.

btw, is the Tunnel Of Love actually a thing? I've only ever seen it in cartoons. credit

btw, is the Tunnel of Love really a thing? I’ve only seen it in cartoons.
credit

The idea for the ride is that, after waiting for probably 3 hours…

You and your loved one get in a rowboat-shaped vessel, probably with decorative oars.

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You drift along beneath the fake moonlight, then under the boughs of a willow tree. You stare into each other’s eyes…

kiss-the-girl-2

 Then the boat begins to rotate and, you know, all hell breaks loose…

kiss-the-girl-3

To be clear, your fake rowboat does not get flipped over by two meddlesome eels at the end of the ride.

Sadly, I never told Disney about my brilliant idea and they opened a different Little Mermaid ride last year. While it admittedly looks kind of awesome, “Kiss The Girl” is featured for only about 20 seconds. Alas, it seems that my dream ride will never be…

I honestly don’t know what made me think about this today, but it’s Valentine’s Day, so enjoy Disney’s most romantic animated scene. I’m 80% thinking about that week freshman year when we watched this movie 18 times and only 20% thinking about my elementary school crush David F.

(Email readers click to the blog to see the video)

P.S. I love how whoever uploaded this video cut it off at the end so we can pretend their boat didn’t capsize… just in case we can’t handle the truth.

Happy Valentine’s Day, dear lovers and friends.
Do you have a song or a movie that transports you back in time?

Comments

  1. Interesting idea for a ride, an expanded tunnel of love. Your 3 hour queue time is probably realistic though.

    Keep coming up with the ideas, theme parks are always looking for something new.

  2. Okay, thank GOD you didn’t get married when you were 19. And I would have been in line for Kiss the Girl. That’s my favorite Disney movie AND song!!!!!!!! Damn eels…

  3. Your wedding was perfect; I would not change a thing. Oh, maybe, the embarrassing bridesmaid that kept wailing in the background…yeah that was me.

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