Back Home Sitcom: Women Slacking Off On Valentine’s Day

INT. DUANE READE – AFTERNOON (VALENTINE’S DAY)

Jill rushes into the store. She heads straight for the greeting cards. There are four women crowded around a two-foot wide section of the aisle.

JILL
(mumbling)
Oh great, American Greetings.

Jill scans the cards and finds the “Husband” section, right where the other women are crowded. Jill waits and scans the section, which is half empty. After a few seconds, one of the women leaves.

Jill edges in and leans over a young Asian woman, who is crouching to look at the lower cards. The young woman sighs loudly, then stands up and leaves with a card in hand.

Jill looks at a card as a middle aged WOMAN approaches and stands behind Jill. She reaches in between Jill and another woman and grabs a card.

WOMAN
(opens card, then immediately)
Too long.

The woman puts the card back. Jill laughs, puts her card back, and selects another one.

WOMAN
Why is it all the women that
are shopping at the last minute?

On cue, a young man approaches, selects a card from the well-stocked “Wife” section, and leaves.

WOMAN
Oh sure, they have plenty of
cards left.

JILL
These cards are awful.
(reading)
“Our relationship isn’t
perfect but…?” Why would
anyone buy this?

WOMAN
That’s why it’s still here.

One of the other women, unamused, walks away with a card. Jill sighs as her hand hovers, moving across the card section. She starts to reach for a pretty card, then suddenly pulls her hand back as if it’s been bitten.

JILL
Religious Valentine’s Day?
Is that a thing?

The middle aged woman puts back another card. An older man walks over, grabs a card, and leaves.

WOMAN
The men have it so easy.

Another woman crowds into the husband section.

JILL
(putting another card back)
I give up.

Jill walks away. Just before the store exit, she spots a lone giant Reese’s Peanut Butter Heart on a shelf.

JILL
Yes!

Jill grabs the candy and approaches the register with a smile.

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