INT. MANHATTAN CAFE – LATE MORNING (SUNDAY)
Jill and Tom laugh as the bill arrives. Jill takes a sip of water.
TOM
Oh, I guess I’ve
got this one?
Jill laughs, coughs, then closes her mouth tight.
TOM
Should I put it on
the Mastercard or…
Tom stops as he looks at Jill. Her mouth is closed and she is holding up one finger as if to say “hold on”.
TOM
What? Do you need…
Jill silences him with one finger again. She stands up and puts on her coat. Without saying a word, Jill exits the restaurant. Tom looks confused for a moment, then peers out the window. He sees Jill come out, walk over to the curb, look around her, then squat very low as she shields the side of her mouth with one hand and spits into the street. Tom shakes his head and puts down his credit card.
Jill re-enters the cafe.
TOM
I saw that.
Jill shrugs.
TOM
You’re weird.
Tom props the leather bill folder on the edge of the table.
JILL
What was I supposed to do?
TOM
Spit it in a napkin?
Jill looks down at her paper napkin. She sneers but then…
JILL
Oh yeah, I guess I could
have done that.
INT. MEXICAN RESTAURANT – NIGHT (WEDNESDAY)
Tom and Jill finish up dinner. Jill coughs. The WAITER approaches the table.
WAITER
How was everything?
TOM
It was great, thanks.
Jill nods without opening her mouth.
WAITER
Any coffee? Dessert?
TOM
No, thanks.
Jill shakes her head no.
WAITER
Maybe next time?
Tom laughs politely. Jill manages a closed-mouth smile. The waiter walks away.
TOM
So, what time is the…
Tom stops when he sees Jill’s face.
TOM
What…
JILL
(slurred, through half
her mouth)
What am I supposed to do
with my loogie now?
TOM
Huh?
Jill glances over to the restaurant door, through another room and about 50 feet away.
JILL
What am I supposed to do
with my loogie now?
Jill and Tom both glance down at the cloth napkins on the table. Tom shrugs and points to the half finished salsa on the table.
JILL
The salsa?
TOM
Why not? We’ll stir it
so they won’t know.
JILL
It’s gross.
TOM
They’re not going to
reuse it.
Jill reaches for her water.
TOM
Really? You’re going to spit it
in your water? What if you want
to drink it still?
Jill puts down her water. She frowns, then pulls the tiny bowl of salsa toward her. She looks around at the empty restaurant. She leans her head forward slightly, then…
JILL
No, forget it. I can’t do it.
Jill swallows.
JILL
I swallowed it.
TOM
Gross!
JILL
I’m sorry, I couldn’t do it.
Too gross.
============================================
Lovers and friends, you’ll tell me when I’ve given you too much information, won’t you?
Ew that is gross, but I knew this about you. Couldn’t you just go to the bathoom?
Yeah I thought of that later. Don’t know why I didn’t. I guess it was kind of far away too. But in the meantime I spent a minute discussing it.
You were recyling.
Uck. I don’t even like to think about it. I really think spitting is gross, generally.
Jill,
Look who made it to diner?
So now I have to read… I guess?
Where’s the remote?
Le Clown
Thanks for dropping by. I would offer you some snacks but I’m not allowed to have food in my room.
Ewwwwww! A girl after my own heart
Cold season has me all kinds of spitting. It ain’t pretty!
Right? And I so adamantly detest other people’s spitting that it puts me in an awkward position when I have to do it myself.
Well, at least now all the world knows you swallow!
Phil
http://www.blog.theregularguynyc.com
Ugh.