What foods to you think of when you think of New York? Survey says!…
I was surprised hot dogs beat out pizza, but it’s just by one vote so okay. The cheesecake answer I get also. New York style cheesecake is seriously the best, but you can pretty much get it anywhere. Cheesecake Factory? I know it’s a chain but it’s good stuff.
Personally, when I think of New York foods, foods that are better in New York than anywhere else, I think of pizza and bagels.
Except no. Because, problems.
This might sound sacrilegious but New York has too many damn pizza places. Why is that a problem? Because 90% of them are crap. I’m sorry but they are.
Here are some hints that you might be about to get crappy pizza:
1. The pizza is too cheap. Like $1 a slice, or two slices and a soda for $3.
I like a good deal but at those prices, you are not getting real cheese. You are getting an oil-based substitute. Which is great if you’re lactose-intolerant. Seriously, go for it. But it’s just not real New York pizza.
2. It’s from a deli.
Yes, there are delis all over the city that just sell a little bit of everything. Sandwiches in the front. A weird little pizza stand in the back. I don’t even think they cook the pizzas in house.
Those are the two main clues. Other hints might include if it’s in Times Square or Penn Station, or from a chain. Just saying, keep an eye out.
Where the fuck are they?
There are too many fucking pizza places in New York and not enough bagel places! A bagel place is a store that mainly specializes in bagels. It may also sell deli products but it should not primarily be a deli. I can’t stress this enough.
A deli specializes in sandwiches. They might also sell bagels, but they are purchased from elsewhere.
A bagel place bakes and perfects the bagels in house. They should have millions of kinds of bagels and as many kinds of cream cheese.
Also, and I can’t really explain why this is important: you can tell a real bagel place because the bagels are in baskets behind the food prep area. Not in a glass case under the counter.
When I lived in Brooklyn, there were a couple real bagel stores in Williamsburg. But in Manhattan? Forget it. We’d have to walk at least a mile to get to the nearest bagel place, which was tiny and usually closed. I work in midtown now and I can’t even tell you where the nearest bagel place is. It’s just, like, the economy, man…
1. Look out for shady pizza places.
2. Let me know if you find a real bagel place.