Full Disclosure is a series in which I admit to things that I shouldn’t be ashamed of, but am anyway.
Full disclosure: I have a dry scalp. This is really the embarrassing part of this post. I shouldn’t be ashamed but there’s something about even mentioning the scalp that’s gross. Anyway, that’s not really what the story is about.
For years I have lived in secret shame until one fateful internet search led me to some hippie message board, which recommended an ACV rinse.
ACV? Ok… Google… Either a hot water boiler company or apple cider vinegar. Probably the latter. How does one rinse her hair with a food product?
I followed these instructions from Organic Authority to a T.
- Apple cider vinegar smells bad. Like vinegar. I was hoping it would smell more like apple cider.
- Ok, when my hair’s been dry for a little while, it doesn’t smell much or at all.
- Wow, my scalp is so much better.
- My hair, which is already pretty soft, is seriously the softest ever. I had my improv friends petting me at at a bar last week.
- My hair doesn’t get greasy either.
Monday, it rained. I, like an idiot, hadn’t checked the weather and got caught in the rain. NBD. I ran down to the subway. Standing on the platform, I sniffed. Why does it smell like vinegar down here? Oh. It’s me. I smell like a salad.
Yeah, so it turns out that when my hair gets wet again, I smell like a salad bar. I don’t really know what to do with this unusual super power. Shall I use it for good or evil?
After several facebook status updates on the salad saga (which seemed to be crowd pleasers with my friends), my friend Erin texted me this photo:
…with the message, “Really have no clue why this is a picture or what it means but it made me think of you and your wet hair the other day.”
According to the internets, “valid like salad” is a song and also, vaguely, an expression of dopeness (as Kanye would say). I think I’ve brought validity to a whole new level.