Back Home Sitcom: The Veggie Trials Continue

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INT. DADDY’S HOUSE – KITCHEN – NIGHT

Daddy, Jill and Tom are having dinner.

DADDY
Make sure you get some salad. You
know, you should be eating fruits
and vegetables with every meal.

JILL
Oh, really? You’ve never told
me that before.

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Back Home Sitcom: The Lady Spits

INT. MANHATTAN CAFE – LATE MORNING (SUNDAY)

Jill and Tom laugh as the bill arrives. Jill takes a sip of water.

TOM
Oh, I guess I’ve
got this one?

Jill laughs, coughs, then closes her mouth tight.

TOM
Should I put it on
the Mastercard or…

Tom stops as he looks at Jill. Her mouth is closed and she is holding up one finger as if to say “hold on”.

[Read more...]

Back Home Sitcom: Claire Danes Makes A Cameo

While staying at Mommy’s last week, we started binge watching Homeland. We’ve only just started Blizzard Nemo and we already have about a foot of snow outside. So, after about 4 episodes so far today…

 

INT. MOMMY’S LIVING ROOM – NIGHT

Gail (Jill’s mom), Tom, and “Cutie” (Jill’s stepdad) watch TV. Jill carries a newly opened bottle of wine in from the kitchen. Cutie gets up to look out the front door. Twinkie the cat meows at Gail.

Gail
I just realized who Twinkie looks like!

Jill looks at her mom confused but intrigued.

Cutie
Yeah, he looks like a cat.

Gail
No! He looks like Claire Danes!

Everyone laughs.

Gail
I’m serious!

Cutie
You’re right! Why don’t you tweet it at her?

Gail
He does…

Cutie
…or *Meow* it at her!

Jill laughs and high fives cutie.

Gail
With his big eyes and long eyelashes?

Jill
Yeah, okay…

Gail
And that confused look on his face?

 

Well, Claire Danes isn’t on twitter but here you have it. You be the judge.

totally looks like

totally looks like

 

Back Home Sitcom, Ep. 3

Link to prior episodes.

INT. UPSTAIRS HALLWAY – MORNING

Jill approaches the bathroom, then stops outside the door. Jill turns and approaches the stairs. Guitar music floats up from downstairs.

JILL
(Calling downstairs)
Daddy!

Music stops.

DADDY (O.S.)
Yes, sweetie?

JILL
Can I flush the toilet?

DADDY (O.S.)
Yes.

JILL
Thanks.

DADDY
Just flush it once though?

JILL
Okay…

Jill furrows her brow in confusion as she turns back toward the bathroom. Guitar starts again.

INT. JILL AND TOM’S ROOM – MINUTES LATER

Jill enters. Tom is in bed.

JILL
Um, I think we’re supposed
to only flush once so…
I left my pee for you.

TOM
Yeah… I heard your dad.

Jill shrugs and gets back into bed. Tom gets up and exits the bedroom.

Back Home Sitcom, Ep. 2

Link to Episode 1

INT. BATHROOM – NIGHT

Jill showers while singing Bonnie Raitt into her pouf.

JILL
‘Cause I can’t make you love
me if you…

There is an urgent banging on the door. Jill gasps.

DADDY (O.S.)
Jilly! I need you to wrap it
up. We’re having problems
downstairs.

JILL
Uh, ok.

Jill hurriedly reaches for the shampoo and lathers up, then begins rinsing her hair. Another bang at the door.

DADDY (O.S.)
Jilly, there’s water coming
up from the toilet downstairs.

JILL
(frantically rinsing)
Ok, I’m working on it!

Jill abruptly turns off the shower. Beat. She glances at her conditioner, then lets out a sigh. Jill grabs her towel and steps out. There is no bathmat and she dries her feet quickly before stepping into her slippers. She takes one step toward the sink, reaches for her toothbrush, but then looks back toward the bathroom door. She frowns as she drops her hand and moves to exit.

Back Home Sitcom, Ep. 1

INT. NEWLYWEDS’ BEDROOM – MIDDAY (SUNDAY)

Jill and Tom prepare to leave for the day. Jill puts her laptop in her purse as Tom slips on his jacket. There is a knock at the door. Jill opens it to reveal Daddy.
 
DADDY
Have you two been eating
in here?
 
JILL
(Guiltily) Um, yes.
 
DADDY
Daddy would really prefer
if you didn’t eat in here.
This isn’t college.
 
Jill glances at the mini fridge in the corner.
 
JILL
It feels like college.
 
DADDY
Yeah, I see that… Just 
eat in the kitchen please.
 
JILL
(Hangs her head) Ok…
 

Daddy closes the door as he leaves. Jill looks up at her husband.

TOM
(Whispers) I’m still
gonna eat in here.