Blog Sitcom: “Cell Phones In Public”

INT. TRAIN – NIGHT

Commuter train full of tired passengers. There is an ANNOYING GIRL talking loudly and incessantly on her cell phone. We only see the back of her head.

GIRL
His name’s Josh. He’s really
cute. He kind of looks like
Patrick Dempsey.

Beat. A passenger across the aisle from the girl rolls his eyes.

GIRL
No! Not “Lover Boy” Patrick
Dempsey! Well, kind of. He’s
kind of like a combination…

A train announcement interrupts the girl’s conversation. She sighs.

ANNOUNCER
This is an announcement from
the Long Island Railroad. Be
train smart. When using your
cell phone…

GIRL
Ugh, these announcements are
so annoying.

ANNOUNCER
…please be courteous to
passengers around you.

A passenger behind the girl loudly clears his throat.

GIRL
Sorry, so anyway. He sort of
looks like a combination of
young Patrick Dempsey and old
Patrick Dempsey.

The train comes to a stop. A woman in front of the girl stands up and glances with fascination at the annoying girl, before exiting. The annoying girl sees the woman’s gaze and looks around, confused.

GIRL
Yeah but anyway, I never get
to see him. It’s kind of like
that episode of Sex & The City…

The train takes off again.

GIRL
…where Miranda and Steve
couldn’t work their schedules
out because she was a lawyer
and he’s a bartender.

The train begins to slow.

ANNOUNCER
This is Huntington. Huntington,
last stop, last stop. All
passengers must exit here.

GIRL
(louder)
Yeah! Almost exactly because,
like, I’m an accountant and
he’s a waiter.

ANNOUNCER
Please take a moment to look
around you, and make sure you
have all your personal belongings…

GIRL
Ugh! Alright, I better go, Peg.
It’s my stop. I love you!!
Alright, bye.

The girl stands up, puts on her coat, and notices for the first time that most of the train is staring at her. As she turns, reveal: it is our heroine, Jill, slightly younger.

CHYRON – “October, 2007″
 

Blog Sitcom, Ep. 1: "With Mediocre Blogging Comes Mediocre Responsibility"

INT. ART MUSEUM – NIGHT

Jill is at the NYU Stern Alumni holiday party. She approaches her friend TATIANA, who is standing at the bar.

JILL
Hi Tatia– Ooh cheese!

Jill greedily loads up her cocktail napkin.

TATIANA
Your last post was on December first.

Jill looks up, surprised. Through a cheese cube wedged in her teeth, she squeaks out…

JILL
Huh?

TATIANA
Your last post was on December first.

Jill stares blankly for a second as she chews, then finally swallows.

JILL
You read my blog?

TATIANA
I checked it twice today. I’m bored at work.

JILL
That’s so exciting! I have another reader!

Tatiana sternly stares at Jill.

JILL
(smile fades)
Sorry. I’m aware that I haven’t posted
since December first. I’m trying,
believe me, but I’m having trouble.

Tatiana holds Jill’s gaze, not letting her off the hook.

JILL
(nervously)
See, what happened was…

Another friend, OUI, joins them as Jill continues.

JILL
…I wanted to write a post about my
top 5 Christmas sitcom episodes, but
I can’t find the clips online because
of copyright and stuff, you know?

OUI
Yeah, totally.

Tatiana turns her stern gaze on Oui.

TATIANA
You don’t have a blog.

OUI
(confused)
No, I don’t… sorry?

JILL
I swear, I spent 3 hours looking for clips.

TATIANA
Uh huh.

JILL
…and next I want to write about Daddy’s
living room but I need a picture and…

TATIANA
Oh, leave your poor father alone.

Beat. Jill is temporarily speechless.

JILL
But… that’s what the blog is about.

TATIANA
Why don’t you write about Tom?

JILL
He doesn’t do anything wrong!

Tatiana raises her eyebrows skeptically.

JILL
Ok, ok. I’ll think of something
to write about Tom.